Grass Dreams

FW:Re: g--.

2010-11-19T12:16:00.001+05:00

I have a good information to share with you.
A while ago,a trading company attractive to me,
the price is very competitive advantage, so I bought some products.
It is very exciting,very pleased when I got and saw my goods.
I think you can go to see: elebuys.com
you'll save more money in there. 5--.

2009-10-02T16:36:00.001+06:00

Test

The Nice One.

2006-09-08T18:31:00.000+05:00

Another oldie-un-posted post.
---------------------------------------------

You can guage the extent of a person's humility simply by the way he walks.

For instance, there is a guy who works at the place where I am doing my
inernship. He is from my college, and graduated a couple of years before I
did. I'd never talked to him in college - he was one of those who keep to
themselves, and never do anything even remotely attention seeking. If it
weren't for the fact that I remember each and every person (seniors atleast)
from college, I probably wouldn't have even realised that I'd seen him
before.

So I went for my first day of my internship. I took along my own laptop
since every computer at the office was currently in use. I had to install
the program that i was going to learn, and so I asked them for a cd. After
rummaging about in every drawer without finding it, he decided to burn it
from the hard disk onto a cd. I tried installing that - didn't work. He then
got up, went outside, got onto his motorbike, and went out. I didn't think
anything about it until he came back with a brand new cd in a plastic bag
that he'd just purchased from somewhere. I tried installing that - didn't
work either. Then he looked all over the office and finally found an old cd.
I tried installing that - STILL didn't work. We both gave up then. The next
day I brought along my other laptop with thankfully had Autocad already
installed in it so I didn't need to bother him anymore.

But the fact of the matter is that he did this all for some silly little
internee who had just landed herself in the office, and really had no idea
what she was doing there. He, on the other hand, was an office employee, and
actually had proper work to do, but he left it to help me out.

And it has been like that for the past six days that I've been here. He
takes time out to teach me the program step by step everyday. Whenever I'm
stuck somewhere, he leaves his work and comes to help me out. When he is
sitting beside me, explaining, he doesn't even look at me, but has his eyes
on the screen at all times. And he is one of those teachers who can explain
something so well, and so patiently, that you immediately understand it the
first time around.

There are other little things too. Everytime he answers the phone, he starts
off with a salam to whoever is calling. When we sit down to eat at my desk,
he's the one who sets the table and chairs. He makes sure that the females
are the first ones to put food on their plates. And when he is finished, he
picks up his plate and glass, and puts it to the side, instead of expecting
someone else to pick up after him.

And to top it all off, he's been sick the past few days, yet is still coming
to work, and actually went off to Peshawer for work as well. His level of
politeness, or manner of talking, is not influenced by the person he is
talking to - he presents the same face to the person, whether it his boss,
or a mazdoor from the site.

Its been so long since I've met a guy who was so truly NICE (There's no
other word for him), that just interacting with him makes me feel like I
must be in some other world. Because in the world that I currently live in,
there are very few who actually know the meaning of manners, and especially,
values.

Insomnia.

2006-09-07T15:15:00.000+05:00

Since I seldom find the time or inspiration to write these days, I thought I'd post some posts I'd written years ago, but never gotten around to posting.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

I am an insomniac.

Ever since I can remember, I have had trouble falling asleep. On a regular day (night?), it can take me anywhere between half an hour to up to three hours to fall asleep. Usually though, after three hours of constant tossing and turning, of trying various conventional methods ranging from counting sheep, to counting backwards from a high number, to saying goodnight to each and every part of your body (don't ask me about the last one), I admit defeat and accept that my body has no intentions of falling asleep anytime soon. Then its back to the book I was reading, or to flipping channels on the TV.

In college, most of my friends were hostelites. And every one of them had the amazing ability to fall asleep at the drop of a hat - whether it was in somebody's comfortable bed, or on a bumpy bus ride to out of town. They never thought much of this super power, but to me, it was a wonderous, unexperienced phenomenon. Not only could they fall asleep at will, but they would stay sleeping through the noisiest of conditions. I suppose living at our college hostel conditioned them for this previously-unheard-of power. A place where the concept of an intercom system was made use of at its very primitive form. Messages were communicated to the upper floors by screaming out from the ground floor central space - Amna, 3rd Year, Guest! Responses would then begin streaming down, Which Amna?! And so the conversation ensued until the required Amna was found .

Screaming was not just limited to the students; in fact the Warden herself was the primary exponent in this practice. She would start at breakfast time, and continue until the last student had retreated to her room. Every word that came out of her mouth was a shout, whether it was to scold the Mess boy, talk out a student's problems, take attendance, or just generally start complaining about the conditions of the hostel to whatever poor soul happened to be within her range of view. She was the supreme manifestation of the word 'Nag', and I doubt I will ever find anyone else so unbearable. Even me, someone who can manage to sit through any sort of conversation, no matter how boring, wanted to start pulling my hair out the few times that I had the misfortune of having to talk to her.

And so the Hostel was forever a place of noise made up of the Warden's unending complaints, giggles and discussions taking place around the dining table, different genres of music blasting from students' rooms, sounds of wood, plaster or whatever material was required for an assignment at that time, being smashed about with the appropriate tools. The girls therefore had to resort to a sleep-or-suffer lifestyle if they wanted to survive at the hostel.

Maybe a year at the hostel would have been good for me. Not only would I have learned to be responsible and independant, but sleep would not seem like such a formidable task every night.

In fact I KNOW it would have been good for me, especially in terms of self esteem, which is at its absolute low whilst trying to socialise with strangers. Perhaps I wouldn't have felt like an outsider most of the time; or as they called it, 'Day Scholar".

Rain Rain, Here Today, All My Troubles Get Washed Away

2006-06-27T09:54:00.000+05:00

Rain rain, beautiful rain. :)

Its completely pouring in Lahore right now, 9:47 pm. I am so glad I woke up early for once, and came into office just before the storm came. Although there had been tell-tale signs of good weather when I woke up.

The bajra, milk and catfood must be washed away by now. Let's hope the animals got to it before that!

There are waves of water below where I work, creating patterns like ripples in sand dunes with the dust collected since the last rain.

The monsoon is here! :)

Till We Meet Again.

2006-06-23T09:59:00.000+05:00

Why do we so easily forget those who were such an integral part of our lives before they left? When they were here, it was difficult to imagine life without them, but now that they're gone, life goes on.

I wanted to make you both great-grandparents, but we knew there was never enough time for that.

I have no one to call Dada and Dado anymore. I miss you. I love you.

The Feeding Ground

2006-06-08T00:42:00.000+05:00

The bowl of birdseed was empty when I went to check on it this morning. :)

I refilled it, went back in, and peered out the window to see that a cat had come sniffing about the bowls.

Tomorrow I'm going to get another bowl and some cat food.

And no, I won't place both types of food together. Different stokes for different folks! :)

-

2006-06-06T16:31:00.000+05:00

My husband is the nicest, warmest, handsomest person I could ever want in my life. When he looks at me with half closed eyes and a serence smile on his face, I just want to envelope him in huge bear hug and somehow just absorb him within myself. I love him to bits. I want to express myself in all the ways that I love him, but somehow, all that comes out is I Love You.

Two Little Dickie Birds...

2006-06-06T16:04:00.000+05:00

Outside our bedroom window is a lush garden where birds, mainly sparrows and woodpeckers, come every day to peck at the ground in search of food. On my mother-in-law's suggestion, I bought some bajra (bird seed) and two shallow clay bowls, to make things easier for the birds.

I put them out today, and went to the window excitedly to watch. But sadly, no birds came. Maybe it was too hot? Disappointed, I left the window.

When I passed by again, there was group of birds near the bowls, pecking about, but not going to bowl of bajra. They'd hop about, but not approach the bowl. Finally, one mustered up the courage, hopped up on the edge of the bowl, pecked at some, and flew off. Then one by one, birds started hopping up on the bowl, picking at the bord seed. One even went and sat into the bajra! Then there came two birds. One would stay a distance from the bowl, and the other would go up, pick up some birdseed into his beak, hop back to the other bird and feed it! It did this again and again, and I have no idea why the bird was too shy or scared to go up to the bowl herself, but the other bird made sure it didn't get left out.

Sometimes animals are so like humans in so many ways, its incredible. The world would be a dull place indeed without animals!

Wham, bam, Spam you Ma'am!

2006-05-25T14:12:00.000+05:00

I wish people would sometimes check up on the authenticity of emails that they forward on to others. All those countless ones about people dying of cancer and how we can give them 3 measly cents through a simple click, the ones which jinx you with some rare curse from the foothills of Kilimanjaro, the get-rich-quick ones where Bill Gates promises you thousands of dollars for the rest of your life just for spamming..

I received two such emails today - one of a girl named Amy Bruce who claims to receive 7 cents from the Make a Wish foundation every time we forward her message. I checked out the so-called <a href=http://www.makeawish.com target="_blank">Make A Wish</a> website. Its crudely put together fake website, which asks if you're searching for Amy, amongst other things. Do you actually think that such a huge foundation would actually put up a single child's name onto the front page of their website? No. All other links from the wesite are empty and lead to mere search engines.

The actual address of the Make A Wish Foundation is http://www.wish.org

The company further talks about these false chain letters and that they only hinder their purpose and mislead people. Below is a part of the statement posted on their website.

"CHAIN LETTERS & THE MAKE-A-WISH FOUNDATION

Make-A-Wish Foundation Does Not Participate In Chain Letter Or Other Direct Solicitation Wishes

Each day, the Make-A-Wish Foundation National Office and chapters receive hundreds of inquiries regarding chain letters claiming to be associated with the Make-A-Wish Foundation. As a matter of policy, the Make-A-Wish Foundation does not conduct these types of wishes- including Internet and e-mail requests. Below are the chain letters currently circulating around the world:

Amy Bruce, Jeff DeLeon, Rhyan Desquetado, Nikisha Johnson, and Jessie Anderson

The time and expense required to respond to these inquiries distracts the Foundation from its efforts on behalf of children with life-threatening illnesses, and more importantly, divulges information that is potentially harmful to a child and his or her family."

Another email I received today from a (sensible!) friend of mine, that warned that Msn was going to start charging for its services, due to too many many "inconsiderate" poeple who had multiple user accounts with variations of the same name. As a result, Msn had only 578 names left that could be registered. Apart from the glaring typos, casual language, and and ALL CAPS paragraph, there were still

There are over 6 billion people in the world. Even if, on an average, each name is shared by 6 people, that means that there 1 billions possiblities. Coupled with the fact that each name is usually spelt differently, person to person, and that you can add birthdates, numbers, surnames, etc, there must be over a trillion ways to regsiter your username. Plus, who even set a limit to the number of users Msn could hold? Even if there was such a limit, Micrsoft would simply stop taking on new users, rather than force people to give up their accounts.

There is a cited link in that forward - http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/business/1189119.stm which you can check out if you do not believe the email. I am sure few people would actually have looked at this link, much less noticed the date that the news article had been posted - Sunday, 25 February, 2001, 11:00 GMT: over 5 years ago.

You would have thought Microsoft would have shut down your account by now, instead of waiting 5 years to do it.

So please. Everytime you gets a guilt trip and think you can save the world merely by forwarded a mere mail made up of complete lies, please, think twice. The world cannot be saved by such an insignificant action on your part. It will take hard work, determination and will to change the world.

If you want to contribute to helping save the lives of others, or atleast alleviate their pain and suffering, volunteer. Help out. If you think you have nothing to contribute, you are wrong. Even one kind word or simple helpfulness can brighten up someone's day. Treat people well and with gentleness. By people, I mean the whole of mankind, no matter what religion, caste, colour or income level. What goes around, does come around. Might as well make it a good thing, no? :)

Yumm.

2006-05-22T17:33:00.000+05:00

The most beautiful thing you can say to the one you love?

"I want to do to you what spring does to the cherry trees."

- Pablo Neruda

Music Spiderweb Engine

2006-05-09T14:46:00.000+05:00

<a href="http://www.liveplasma.com/ target=_blank">This Music Site</a> is kind of interesting. I haven't figured out exactly what I can get out of it, but whoever made it had a lot of time on his or her hands! They made it rather nicely though.

Basically if you like a certain artist from a particular genre, you can use this search engine to explore more bands from that genre that are similar to the band you like.

Kind of interesting if you're at work and don't have much work to do!

Blah.

2006-05-06T16:53:00.000+05:00

Sitting at work over time because the studio is busy due to bloody clients who think they own us and the station just because they're giving us business is not a pretty scenario to be in.

I feel itchy, restless. One of those days when you want to get up and DO something! Where you feel like a waste sitting in front of the computer.

I want to be independent. I want to have friends I see every other day atleast, just to have some good old girly fun. I haven't had that since college days that ended in 2003. I want to be able to talk freely to people, if not everyone, atleast those who I'm close to. I feel bound by a hard shell exterior that is impermeable and unrelenting. I want write, to think, to sing, to draw, to be useful, not even for the world, but just for yourself.

Its basically just one of those days when you feel...blah. That's the perfect word for it, and no other comes even close. Blah. Even the way you say it completely sums up what you feel.

I need a smoke.

Yes Ma'am!

2006-04-21T09:19:00.000+05:00

Its funny sometimes, how the most random phrases you read at random places can be the most poignant!

I was sitting hunched at my computer, downloading fonts off the net, (they have the funniest names) and I came across one that was named Very Bad Posture.

I straightened up immediately.

If that wasn't a sign from God, what is?! :)

Concerts Special Show

2006-04-18T11:16:00.000+05:00

The Show Must Go On

A one hour special on three of the greatest and most influential concerts in musical history -

Live Aid
Live 8
Woodstock

Today, at 4 pm.

Don't miss it!

Money, Money, Money - ABBA

2006-04-12T19:32:00.000+05:00

Flashy diamond jewellery, designer handbags, streaked hair, sunglasses on top of heads, heels too high to imagine they could be walked in.

I felt out of place in my tiny pink pearl earrings, last years clothes, unstreaked hair, and flat (probably second-hand) shoes from Sunday market.

Do their lives really only revolve around what they wear, who they meet and what's in and what's not?

Junz suggested I join that committee too, but ugh, never in a million years could I ever fit in with them, and would ever want to.

I'm perfectly happy with my friends in their dated clothes, tied up hair, old cellphones and intelligent conversations. I'd rather know a person who's comfortable in their own skin, rather than wade through layers upon layers of foundation, sheer clothing, and pretentiousness.

The Resurrection

2006-04-10T19:00:00.000+05:00

Why blog?

To keep those memories, those moments, those words, preserved as a “jar of pickles, so they’ll gain flavour and mature over time”, as Queenie said.

To bring out your soul and open your mind.

To learn, from your own experiences and others.

To discover people like yourself, in this big bad world where you thought you were the only one.

To make friends in the farthest corners of the world and connect over the smallest things (Girl Power!!)

To help heal, and be healed.

I’m back. For good hopefully! :)

2005-11-30T11:51:00.000+05:00

Heh, I was trying to search for Ricky Martin lyrics, and I ended up typing "Icky Martin"

Fur Elise.

2005-11-25T13:02:00.000+05:00

One of the saddest melodies in the world is Fur Elise by Beethoven.

Dripping with melancholy, haunting. It makes you feel alone, even if you are with a million people at the time.

It brings in the night, the darkness, the hopelessness, the uncertainity.

I wonder what was on Beethoven's mind when he wrote it.

If you haven't heard it, you can find it here. MIDI does not do it justice, but its all I could find.

I am Aquarius, My Lover is Gemini

2005-11-24T14:09:00.000+05:00

"This sparkling, zany paring could not get any better. Both of you are intellectual air signs, so conversation, good books, travel, jokes, parties, a rich social life, and a host of other activities are sure to spice up your time together. Ask an Aquarius why he or she married a Gemini and the answer is quick and easy: 'For fun!' Good answer. One wise psychologist said more couples should forget all reasons to get married except one: In the end, is your time together fun? This psychologist would approve of you and your Gemini!

Communication between you two is so superb that it knocks you out, and you both often need to scoot out of town together to chill out. Both of you have quick minds and are fast-paced thinkers -- others sometimes have trouble keeping up with you! You have many friends that you enjoy introducing to your sweetheart, and thus, your circle of friends and acquaintances will widen considerably with this union. But you'll be best friends, too.

Your relationship has the promise of a four-star, solid gold union, so hold on to one another. The trust you share, your mutual respect, and your enjoyment of being together can stand the test of time. "

I'm sure going to hold on with all my might. :)

The Global Village.

2005-11-12T12:58:00.000+05:00

I can't believe this, I have been quoted!

And that too, INTERNATIONALLY!

http://www.zeit.de/online/2005/43/blogs_pakistan

The web page is in German, but I translated it somewhat using babelfish.com

And its not just me, Sidrah and Blue have ALSO been quoted!

This is SO cool! :D

One Plus One Equals ONE.

2005-11-12T11:46:00.000+05:00

Do you think I have it in me?

I don't.

I don't want to get it into it if I'll only do it half-heartedly. Why make a promise that I am unsure I will keep?

But I would do this and so much more for you.

I love you.

And that should be reason enough.

There are times when I wonder if I'll wake up one day and realise that it was all a dream. That I never had you, and it was all another product of my over-zealous imagination.

There are some things that seem too good to be true. And sometimes, they are.

But this isn't. Its good, and its true.

I can die without ever asking for another thing in my life.

This. Is. Nirvana.

Earthquake Relief

2005-10-11T13:00:00.000+05:00

If anyone abroad would like to make monetary contributions towards the Earthquake relief efforts being conducted in Pakistan, below is a list of who to contact:

The Embassy of Pakistan in Washington D.C. has opened a designated account to receive donations for the Presidents Relief Fund. Donations can be sent to the Embassy of Pakistan in Washington, DC. Cheques should be made payable to the Presidents Relief Fund.

Pakistan-Canada Association
http://www.pakcan.com/pakistan_earthquake_relief.shtml
PAKISTAN EARTHQUAKE RELIEF FUND
Royal Bank of Canada
Branch No: 05600
Transit No: 003
Account No: 1009067

A LUMS Disaster Relief Fund has been established:

The following details are required for transferring funds to LUMS CitiGold Bank US Dollars Account through wire

Name of the Beneficiary Lahore University of Management Sciences

Bank Account # 9011105014

Routing # 10991207

Swift Code CITIPKKXLAH

Bank Name & Address CitiBank, N.A.

Alfalah Building

Shahrah e- Quaid e-Azam

Lahore Pakistan

Telephone # +92-42-6303479-82

Fax # +92-42-6367874

You can also go here to donate online:

http://www.mercycorps.org/

NCA (National College of Arts) has set up bank accounts in Prime banks which are taking donations in USD and GBP:

For USD, please remit

Via CHIPS ABA 159 to

American Express Bank Ltd

New York, USA

Account No. 00224667 UID No. 270535

For credit of Account No.732479 with Prime Commercial Bank Ltd., Karachi, Pakistan

Onward credit to M/s NCA Relief Funds

Account No. 01897010

Prime Commercial Bank Ltd.,

Egerton Road Branch,

Lahore, PAKISTAN.

For GBP:

National Westminster Bank,

International Trade & Banking Services,

Accoutnancy Services, Level 9,

National Westminster Tower,

25 Old Broad Street,

London EC2N 1HQ

For credit of Account No.04461908 with Prime Commercial Bank Ltd., Karachi, Pakistan

Onward credit to M/s NCA Relief Funds

Account No. 01897010

Prime Commercial Bank Ltd.,

Egerton Road Branch,

Lahore, PAKISTAN.

No one has ANY excuse not too! Even ONE rupee can buy a box of matches for those living without gas and electricity.

7.6

2005-10-08T10:40:00.000+05:00

Dear God,

You just sent us a 7.6 on the Richter Scale Earthquake.

We've had 3 so far. And now another one.

Islamabad is getting them repeatedly. A 10 storey building by the name of Margalla Tower has apparently fallen to the ground there. We have no idea who is alright and who isn't.

There've been tsunamis, earthquakes, hurricanes, flash floods - most of them major disasters - in the past year.

If its not people turning on people, its the world turning on the people.

Is this the end of the world God?

Are you there?

-

2005-10-06T10:03:00.000+05:00

It is easier,

To reveal your body,

Than it is,

To lay bare your soul.

2005-09-23T17:37:00.000+05:00

Good-ness.

Friday's at work are SO insanely boring.

My second boss has gone to Karachi, my first boss has gone somewhere else. The one female I get along with has taken a holiday today.

I'm the only bloody female at my work right now!!

Horrible.

Apparently <a href="http://www.cityfm89.com" target = "blank">City Fm89</a> is giving away a free iPod!

Now.

2005-09-12T17:49:00.000+05:00

Would it be unfair to ask my parents if I could just move in with my hubby right now, and to screw the wedding? We could just have one big joint reception/mehndi/shaadi etc in December, let everyone party and be happy for us, and also save us all a trucklaod of money!

One. It's kind of radical.
Two. I don't think my Dad would be ready for it emotionally.
Three. What about all the rasmain, the dholkis, the singing, the tears, the joys?

I don't know. I'm just dying to be with him already, and so is he. I mean, we're married for pete's sake, and the nikah function was big enough to be a shaadi. The high that we're on right now will have evaporated by December.

Just how long IS 3 months?

D-Day?

2005-09-09T11:51:00.000+05:00

Tomorrow.

The 10th of September.

I shall be a married woman.

T kept bugging me about it last night.. "You're going to be married day after, how do you feel?! How will you change?"

I kept replying with a nonchalant "Big deal..I'll just be married on paper, not in actuality!"

But the more I think about it...I'm going to be a Mrs.?? And woh bhi a (Pardon the pun) Mrs. T?!

I'll have a ring on my finger, a change of name (Still thinking about that), an entirely new set of responsibilities, a husband to love, and so much more!

Committed.

He even asked me kay, You were always going on about Commitment, and how having to spend your entire life with just one person was the worst punishment you could give to anyone, and now you're saying that it's not a big deal?

Well, how can it be, when everything just feels so right? Like it was meant to be? Like the world will be harmonised and the wheels will glide into place once we are joined?

I am not a cheesy romantic. I just can't help but express my affection towards the one man I ever admired. The one I never even dreamed I could ask for, yet will be promised to him in a little over 24 hours.

God indeed works in mysterious ways. :)

These Are The Days.

2005-08-24T13:03:00.000+05:00

To blog, or not to blog. That is the question.

I miss this. Sometimes I read through my older posts, and like what I see. Is that really me writing? You may think that I would be biased against myself, but being the self-hypocritical person I am, that is far from true. Why be just ok, when you be perfect?

There are so many things I start, so many plans I make. They end up like fences you leave half painted - started off with a zeal, dwadled in the middle, and trailed off in the end. The paintbrush left in the paint can, now dried solid. There are some things that you cannot leave for another day, they must be started and finished in one go.

Is the world coming to an end? It seems so. There are places undergoing severe droughts complete with raging forest fires, and there are others that seem like the entire ocean was dumped in on them. Cyclones, Tornadoes, Earthquakes, Tsunamis. War, Crime, Terrorism, Murder. The death of one is called a Tragedy, the death of many - a Statistic.

The world is suffering. The Earth is dying. The people are becoming animals.

And in the midst of it all, I have my space, my sheltered world. Where there is only him and I. And no one to disturb us while we fall more and more in love.

These are the days you might
fill with laughter until you break.
These days you might
feel a shaft of light make its way
across your face.
And when you do
you'll know how it was meant to be.
See the signs and know their meaning.
It's true, you'll know how it was meant to be.
Hear the signs and know
they're speaking to you, to you

- 10,000 Maniacs

Have you?

2005-08-04T10:48:00.000+05:00

Have you tried to not smile, and yet ended up smiling even more so?

Have you gotten turned on just by holding hands with someone?

Have you talked to somebody for hours and hours on end, and still had the energy and conversational topics to go on for hours more?

Have you ever watched somebody do the most regular thing in the silliest way, and fallen for them even more?

Have you felt so completely connected with someone; so much so that it feels like your souls were separated by birth?

Have you looked into someone's eyes and seen their soul?

Have you ever been in love?

I have. And its the most beautiful feeling on earth. All that Indian Film cheesiness I used to abhor? I'm doing every bit of it right now. And I wouldn't change a thing.

Choose.

2005-06-07T11:17:00.000+05:00

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

- Robert Frost

Which one?

One cannot be taken without affecting the other. Though they go separate ways, they are joined by one link - Me.

Both are Uncertain. I know not what lies beyond, only as far as I can see. Though Time and Circumstance may change both from within, I shall never know if for the better or the worse. One single step into either direction will take me forever onto that path. There can be no Turning Back.

Which One, Dear God?

13 Days Left.

You.

2005-04-26T17:43:00.000+05:00

Yes I need to get over it. Yes, we're working together in a
professional environment. Yes, he screwed with my mind.

Forgive and forget. I thought I lived by those three words. I guess not.

Is it really that difficult to just push all that behind and start
over? To at least be able to tolerate him while working? Or am I just
pulling myself back subconsciously without realising it?

I hate him. Not just because of what he did, but because of the kind
of person he is. Or is just my obvious biases that blur my vision of
him?

I'll never know until I implement those aforementioned three words.

untitled

2005-04-04T16:06:00.000+05:00

I broke your heart.

I'm sorry.

I can't force myself to feel what I don't truly feel. Maybe it was too soon for it, maybe it would never have happened.

I miss you though.

Somedays other Blogs inspire...

2005-03-24T10:23:00.000+05:00

Let go. Take the first step. Open up. Be happy. Just be.

Freedom is not always physical.

Forget about what the rest of the world thinks about you. They're probably grappling with their own inferiority complexes themselves. They have no right to judge you, just as you don't them.

Be your own person. Live your own life. Be what YOU want to be, and I don't mean that just career-wise.

Life's too short to be spent brooding. Regret is the saddest word in the dictionary.

Who knows of tomorrow? I know just of today.Tomorrow it will be yesterday. A yesterday gone forever, wasted/unwasted. We all have choices. YES, we DO. We may not always make the right ones, but we must always have the courage to make them regardless.

Now for Heaven's sake, put on a smile, straighten those shoulders, shake that pessimism out of your hair, and go out and LIVE.

Soundtracks.

2005-03-22T09:56:00.000+05:00

Ever wonder why, in the movies, everything seems to fall in place, the
mood is right, the atmosphere is right, its all in the perfect setting
for whatever you want to take place?

Let me take you in on a secret - its the soundtrack.

Ever noticed that when two people are together, and talking, the music
is low and very background-ish? Then when they move into an embrace,
it picks up at just the right beat, with just the right intensity, at
just the right words?

The sound directors put a lot of thought into which song or which
music would enhance the scene even more. And if the songs clicks,
bingo. That is one scene you'll remember even after the movie has
ended.

(Strains of She will be loved, by Maroon 5, playing in the background,
as she turns her head towards him and he turns his up towards her. The
softness of the expression, the charge of emotions in the air, they
move into a kiss as the music grows louder in their heads)

(Yesterday's Post)

2005-03-22T09:38:00.000+05:00

Okay this has gotten ancient now, but I was just in the mood.

Today's a count your blessings, things-that-make-you-happy kind of day. Rain does that to you I guess :)

01. Bought everyone in the pub a drink
02. Swam with dolphins
03. Climbed a mountain
04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive
05. Been inside the Great Pyramid - Seen it though
06. Held a tarantula
07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone
08. Said 'I love you' and meant it
09. Hugged a tree
10. Done a striptease
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Stayed up all night long, and watched the sunrise
15. Seen the Northern Lights
16. Gone to a huge sports game
17. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa - Seen it though
18. Grown and eaten your own vegetables
19. Touched an iceberg
20. Slept under the stars
21. Changed a baby's diaper
22. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
23. Watched a meteor shower
24. Gotten drunk on champagne
25. Given more than you can afford to charity - I could have afforded a lot more though
26. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope27. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
28. Had a food fight
29. Bet on a winning horse
30. Taken a sick day when you're not ill
31. Asked out a stranger
32. Had a snowball fight
33. Photocopied your bottom on the office photocopier
34. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can
35. Held a lamb
36. Enacted a favorite fantasy
37. Taken a midnight skinny dip
38. Taken an ice cold bath/shower
39. Had a meaningful conversation with a beggar
40. Seen a total eclipse
41. Ridden a roller coaster
42. Hit a home run
43. Fit three weeks miraculously into three days - THESIS!44. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking - I do it all the time :)
45. Adopted an accent for an entire day
46. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
47. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment
48. Had two hard drives for your computer
49. Visited all 50 states
50. Loved your job for all accounts
51. Taken care of someone who was shit faced
52. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
53. Had amazing friends
54. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country
55. Watched wild whales
56. Stolen a sign
57. Backpacked in Europe
58. Taken a road-trip - Does it include to Islamabad and back?
59. Rock climbing
60. Lied to foreign government's official in that country to avoid notice
61. Midnight walk on the beach
62. Sky diving
63. Visited Ireland
64. Been heartbroken longer then you were actually in love
65. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger's table and had a meal with them
66. Visited Japan
67. Bench-pressed your own weight
68. Milked a cow
69. Alphabetized your records
70. Pretended to be a superhero
71. Sung karaoke
72. Lounged around in bed all day - Only when ill
73. Posed nude in front of strangers
74. Scuba diving
75. Got it on to "Let's Get It On" by Marvin Gaye
76. Kissed in the rain
77. Played in the mud
78. Played in the rain
79. Gone to a drive-in theatre
80. Done something you should regret, but don't regret it
81. Visited the Great Wall of China
82. Discovered that someone who's not supposed to know about your blog has discovered your blog
83. Dropped Windows in favor of something better
84. Started a business
85. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken
86. Toured ancient sites
87. Taken a martial arts class
88. Sword fought for the honor of a woman.
89. Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight
90. Gotten married
91. Been in a movie
92. Crashed a party
93. Loved someone you shouldn't have
94. Kissed someone so passionately it made them dizzy
95. Gotten divorced
96. Had sex at the office
97. Lied
97. Gone without food for 5 days
98. Made cookies from scratch
99. Won first prize in a costume contest
100. Ridden a gondola in Venice
101. Gotten a tattoo
102. Found that the texture of some materials can turn you on
103. Rafted the Snake River
104. Been on television news programs as an "expert"
105. Got flowers for no reason
107. Got so drunk you don't remember anything
108. Been addicted to some form of illegal drug
109. Performed on stage
110. Been to Las Vegas.
111. Recorded music
112. Eaten shark
113. Had a one-night-stand
114. Gone to Thailand
115. Seen Moulin Rouge
116. Bought a house
117. Been in a combat zone
118. Buried one/both of your parents
120. Been on a cruise ship
121. Spoken more than one language fluently
122. Gotten into a fight while attempting to defend someone
123. Bounced a check
124. Performed in Rocky Horror
125. Read - and understood - your credit report
126. Raised children
127. Recently bought and played with a favorite childhood toy
128. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour
129. Created and named your own constellation of stars
130. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country
131. Found out something significant that your ancestors did
132. Called or written your Congressperson
133. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over
134. ...more than once?
135. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge
136. Sang loudly in the car, and didn't stop when you knew someone was looking
137. Had an abortion, or your female partner did
138. Had plastic surgery
139. Survived an accident that you shouldn't have survived
140. Wrote articles for a large publication
141. Lost over 100 pounds
142. Held someone while they were having a flashback
143. Piloted an airplane
144. Petted a stingray
145. Broken someone's heart
146. Helped an animal give birth
147. Been fired or laid off from a job
148. Won money on a T.V. game show
149. Broken a bone
150. Killed a human being
151. Gone on an African photo safari
152. Ridden a motorcycle
153. Driven any land vehicle at a speed of 100mph or faster?
154. Had a body part of yours below the neck pierced
155. Fired a rifle, shotgun or pistol
156. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild
157. Ridden a horse
158. Had major surgery.
159. Had sex on a moving train
160. Had a snake as a pet
161. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
162. Slept through an entire flight: take, landing, during
163. Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours
164. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states
165. Visited all 7 continents
166. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
167. Eaten kangaroo meat
168. Fallen in love at an ancient Mayan burial ground
170. Eaten sushi
171. Had your picture in the newspaper
172. Had 2 (or more) healthy romantic relationships for over a year in your lifetime
173. Changed someone's mind about something you care deeply about
174. Gotten someone fired for his or her actions
175. Gone back to school
176. Parasailed
177. Changed your name
178. Petted a cockroach
179. Eaten fried green tomatoes
180. Read The Iliad
181. Selected one "important" author whom you missed in school, and read him/ her
182. Dined in a restaurant and stolen silverware, plates, cups because your apartment needed them
183. ...and gotten 86'ed from the restaurant because you did it so many times, they figured out it was you
184. Taught yourself an art from scratch
185. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
186. Apologized to someone years after inflicting the hurt
187. Skipped all your school reunions
188. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language
189. Been elected to public office
190. Written your own computer language
191. Thought to yourself that you're living your dream
192. Had to put someone you love into hospice care
193. Built your own PC from parts
194. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn't know you.
195. Had a booth at a street fair
196. Dyed your hair
197: Been a DJ
198: Found out someone was going to dump you via LiveJournal
199: Written your own role playing game
200: Lost your Best Friend for reasons of death
201: Fallen in love over the internet
202: Sung in a Barbers' Shop Quartet
203: Eaten a live animal
204: Been able to communicate in a language you barely learnt barely three days earlier.
205: Gate-crashed a wedding and went up to get your pictures taken with the happy couple - No pics, but lots of gate crashing!

Hmm....makes me realise that I need to do a lot more things in life!

Happiness is walking hand in hand.

2005-03-19T09:48:00.000+05:00

Its incredible what wonders a hot bath and a good night's sleep can do for you. After 4 days of not bathing till the point where my hair refused to move due to the oil that had come to surround it, I finally thought, screw the fever, and just went in to bathe.

I feel clean, refreshed, and ready to take on the world! Which is bad timings since today is a Saturday and there no work tomorrow, so no butts to be kicked. :P

How frustrating is it when everyone under you is a slacker? You have to monitor them every second to make sure they do the job on time and not screw up. And when they complain that hey, they've been here longer than you have, so KNOW what they're doing, you decide that maybe you were being too harsh on them and leave them be. THEN when they screw up and don't have the brains or the instincts to right what's been done wrong, THAT'S what gets to you. Because you know that you're going to get crap what they've done wrong.

Enough complaining. Let's celebrate! What exactly? Anything at all. Life, the weather, your job, your family, the music; there is so much to be happy about, why spend your life moping about? Take the bull by its horns and go out there and conquer the WORLD!

In a non-violent way of course.

:)

.

2005-02-04T23:44:00.000+05:00

Trust me, I've liked a LOT of guys in my life. There's a long list of them.

So, I'll make sure I'm the last name on that list.

*Sigh*

Red pill blue pill.

2005-02-04T23:40:00.000+05:00

So why didn't you sleep last night?

Because I didn't have my sleeping pill - I didn't talk to you last night.

So you shouldn't be so dependent on me.

Why?

Because you shouldn't be so dependent on anyone. Its all about being
independent. You can't possibly be addicted to me.

*Shrug* But I already am.

*Sigh*

Walk with me.

2005-01-28T09:56:00.000+05:00

Forgotten days of blue ink fountain pens. The smoothness of the body.
The distinct smell of colour. The soft turn of the cap. The gold
plated nib. Thick nibs, thin nibs. Slanted nibs, round nibs. Blotting
papers to absorb excesses. The need for perfection – stop, think, then
write, for there is no turning back.

The world of today depends on clickable ballpoints for its fast-paced
needs. Runny, messy, cold. Even the need for pen caps has been
eliminated. There is too much convenience for our own good. Slow down.
Work hard. Learn the steps. Experience the process.

The path is not just about the beginning and the destination. The
journey in between is what teaches us.

1. 2. 3.

2004-12-28T12:30:00.000+05:00

Stop. Think. Talk.

Always in that order.

I cannot empasize on the second action enough.

Stop. THINK. Talk.

The think must never come without the Stop, the talk must never come
without the Think. Hand in hand, in a continuous circle they flow. If
one is left out, the entire cycle gets disrupted.

This is what you get when someone asks you about about your music, and
you respond with disdain at the mere utterance of the word Lollywood
from your lips.

Then you remember that the person you're talking to is a Lollywood
actor's son, and he has very obviously grown up with an intense
Lollywood presence in the house.

:P

Without the inhibitions of the waking world, we speak the truth.

2004-12-26T00:21:00.000+05:00

You mumble a hello, not registering who I am. I insist you go back to
sleep, you insist you weren't asleep. You ask without listening for an
answer.

And when I finally say goodbye, you say I love you, and I know that
even though you don't know what you're saying, this one comes from the
heart.

And I grieve for you.

Qabool hai.

2004-12-26T00:13:00.000+05:00

The smell of rice thrown over her head as she walks out. The crunch of
it beneath our feet. The body of people steadily following her out.
The car waiting in the driveway dressed up with green flowers. The
quiet tears flowing down those faces she's been with all her life. The
red and the gold sparkling under the camera lights. The thick silence
hanging in the air after she has left.

She has come home.

Two.

2004-12-03T21:54:00.000+05:00

Not good Moonshine, not good.

Leading two guys on at the same time, even if done unintentionally (well, nearly!), is completely unacceptable.

Of course, you don't intend to take things further with either of them, do you?

Letter to a loved one.

2004-12-03T21:19:00.000+05:00

Hello Blog,

Do you remember me? You may think that I have forgotten you, but I have not. Somewhere at the back of my mind, you remain, and tease me and taunt me for I neglect you.

But know this, that I do it not on purpose. I fear there are other things that have taken over my life these days, and though I enjoy them as well, I miss you and the people you have led me to know. For there was no other way I could have met those people whilst living in the same city, or same country even. For that, I am grateful.

I made you with the intent of caring for you atleast regularly, but alas, I have broken my promise. You sit, dusty and dark, occasionally lit up by the wonderful words written by the wonderful people who stop by faithfully to see whether you have woken yet.

If nothing else, I shall try to give you atleast a few lines, if not real updates, more regularly. Anything that shall shake you from your deep slumber.

Ashamedly yours,
Moonshine.

2004-11-19T18:28:00.000+05:00

Yumm..good mixed tea with Gluco biscuits totally rocks!

Yes I am still a baby at heart. I love Cerelac, Gripe Water, Baby Wipes, Baby Oil, Baby Powder, and especially Baby Rubber Toys to be played with in the bath.

Cirrculum Vita

2004-11-19T15:58:00.000+05:00

Ooh, lurking about on another bloggie just reminded me.

I have to make up my CV to give in on Monday..any idea about current
popular formats anyone?

Ameen.

2004-11-17T22:16:00.000+05:00

Wow, sometimes God sends down help in the most wonderful ways!

As I said before, this guy had constantly been flirting with me and
dropping very obvious hints that he wanted to be with me, even after
repeated refusals from my side. He kept asking me if I was single, and
I kept running around the topic.

Then, yesterday, I went out to lunch with my school friends. My throat
had been acting up a bit since morning, and I knew I was going to be
hit with the flu very soon. While I was at the lunch, he called, and
there was a lot of noise from people behind me, and my voice was a
little different too. He said, hi, how's the lunch going and all, and
I was running out to get outside, when the call was cut. I assumed
he'd call again, but he didn't, and I went back inside.

And miraculously that night, he didn't call. Which was very strange
since he'd call me every opportunity he got. So this morning, I woke
up and got an sms. He asked why I hadn't told him I was going with a
male friend, he would never have called. And that it was weird when he
called and my so-called male friend picked up the phone.

Hello? I'd gone to lunch with my female friends, and it was ME who'd
picked up the phone.

Somehow he'd thought he was talking to a guy, presumably my boyfriend
since "he'd" picked up the phone so casually.

Five minutes later he messages again, apologising if he'd gotten me
into trouble. That his intentions were pure, since he'd honestly
thought I was single (And that was a good enough reason for him to hit
on me?). Then he ended it saying sorry, and that it would never happen
again.

If I had known this was the one way that would get him off my
back, I would have thought it up earlier! But I guess giving me a sore
throat was God's way of answering my pleas to deal with him. And thank
goodness I kept my mouth shut when he asked if I was single or not.

Comments.

2004-11-17T14:42:00.000+05:00

Ouch.

Haloscan has now been put up on this blog. Meaning that all other comments have been deleted :( Sorry guys..but this means no more getting confused about Anonymouses now!

Please your real name, or Alias, whatever you're comfortable with, from now. It just needs to be unique enough to identify you.

Thank you!

2004-11-12T23:43:00.000+05:00

Oh yuck. My hand was itching so I looked down at it, and this FAT mosquito was happily sucking away at my knuckles.

One SWAT with my other hand, and there was nothing left but a pool of blood on my knuckle, and a squashed mosquito on my left palm.

he sat and sucked blood upon,
My hand
Thinking she'd remain anon,
Down came the left one to easily score,
Poor Mosquito is no more.

Single, NOT Available.

2004-11-12T16:42:00.000+05:00

Getting hit on by two guys in the span of 24 hours..in fact, less than
24 hours, is a record even for me.

Of course, I should have seen it coming. They'd been dropping hints
about it for a while now, and I knew one thing would lead to the
other. Has the world forgotten about the term 'a little HARMLESS
flirting'?? I mean, guys do it all the time, so why is it that when
girls start to do it, the guy turns around and gets all serious?

I'm sorry if I showed absolutely no reaction to you pouring your heart
to me, but calling me out to say you have to talk for 2 minutes,
COMPLETELY out of the blue, while on your way to college, is something
I wasn't prepared for. I don't know if it was a, oh we'll be passing
that way, let's just stop and tell her, or a, I HAVE to tell her,
right NOW. I suppose it was better this casual way, without the both
of us getting all uncomfortable, and you going on and on about your
feelings with one of those awkward silences on my part.

Someone wise once said that men and women can never have purely
platonic relationships. And I think that someone truly was wise. Why
does the friendship always have to be taken a step further? Yes I
understand how one cannot control how the heart feels or reacts, men
and women included, but sometimes, when its not appropriate to be
acting that way, DON'T!

And then when you have the gall to ASK me, "Am I coming on to you?",
do you think I'll act all shy and sweet, and say No?

Do I have Single and Available stamped on my forehead??

2004-11-06T06:27:00.000+05:00

Wanted:

1 bear hug.

Preferably male. All-enveloping. Tight. The kind that makes you feel
totally secure. One that you can get lost in and forget about the rest
of the world.

No skinnies need apply.

Stoned Immaculate.

2004-11-06T04:56:00.000+05:00

Let me tell you about heartache and the loss of god
Wandering, wandering in hopeless night
Out here in the perimeter there are no stars

Out here we is stoned
Immaculate.

- The Doors

McDonald's mein hai kuch khaas!

2004-11-04T23:43:00.000+05:00

The new McArabia at McDonald's is yummmmmmmmmmmmm!!

Yes yes, the 'golden arches of western imperialism' as he said today, but I still love McD's!

And I love his voice. Bring on the ads baby.

No.

2004-11-03T14:07:00.000+05:00

I had a massive fight with my sister yesterday, and got so pissed off. She is 8 years younger than me, but I get no amount of respect from her that I should get being an elder sister. I guess part of it s my fault. She’s going through her teenage years, and therefore, is perpetually moody, cranky and stubborn. I should know, I went through the exact same thing when I was a teen, and I can tell you, it wasn’t pretty. But then, I never had too many friends, much of social life, and no elder sister who would take care of me. She has all those things, and is the apple of my other sister’s eye. That should help alleviate the hormonal imbalance somewhat, no?

There are times when I feel so angry. This rage builds up inside me, and makes me want to grab someone by the hair and bash their head down on the floor. It makes me want to scream myself hoarse until all the anger has left me and there are nothing left but hot tears of exhaustion. I don’t look it, but yes, there is a demon inside me. And he keeps on feeding on all the anger, all the frustration, and all the hurt that I keep inside and never let surface. Do you know what I need? I need to enroll in a kick-boxing class so I can just fight, punch and kick all that anger away into an all absorbing punch bag. How wonderful to be able to dump all your worries onto something and then forget about them.

Why can’t I be all-loving, all-compassionate, and all-forgiving like I know I have the potential to be? Why must I breed resentment, keep track of all the wrongs that have been done to me, and be stubborn enough to stay my ground, no matter how wrong I KNOW I am.

There is still so much growing up left to do.

No time to say hello, goodbye!

2004-11-03T01:50:00.000+05:00

Aah how wonderful! I didn't expect to find it, but I did!

For the unofficial script of Alice in Wonderland, go here.

The time has come (the Walrus said), to talk of other things.
Of shoes and ships and sealing wax, and cabbages and kings.
And why the sea is boiling hot, and whether pigs have wings.
Calloo, callay, no work today! We’re cabbages and kings!

- The Walrus

2004-11-02T15:30:00.000+05:00

Blue's cat missy has returned after almost a year of being away, and I
am so incredibly happy for her!

Like I said, can there be anything more wonderful than a pet coming
home after you've given up all hope? I am addicted to my own Bubs, and
I can't even begin to imagine what Blue must have gone through after
having to give Boo up. A pet is an addiction - its the one thing you
want to see when you get up in the morning, and the last thing you
want to see at night. When it softly treads on your bed to come and
curl up in your legs, it puts a smile on your face and peace in your
heart. It can fill up your days with happiness and entertainment, and
you wonder how you ever survived without one all those years before.

Babe, here's to Missy returning home soon.

Come away with me.

2004-11-02T15:00:00.000+05:00

Come away with me in the night
Come away with me
And I will write you a song

Come away with me on a bus
Come away where they can't tempt us
With their lies

I want to walk with you
On a cloudy day
In fields where the yellow grass grows knee-high
So won't you try to come

Come away with me and we'll kiss
On a mountaintop
Come away with me
And I'll never stop loving you

And I want to wake up with the rain
Falling on a tin roof
While I'm safe there in your arms
So all I ask is for you
To come away with me in the night
Come away with me

- Norah Jones

:P

2004-11-02T14:08:00.000+05:00

Hmph. Umpteen searches for D-i-n-o are leading a lot of unwanted
vistors to my blog.

Damn you Google.

2004-11-02T08:15:00.000+05:00

Testing..why is email-a-post not working?

The answer my friend...

2004-10-28T19:33:00.000+05:00

The weather's been absolutely beautiful today. The wind's been blowing about like it never does - only people in Karachi are privileged with this type of breeze!

Winters are a-comin'!

2004-10-25T13:52:00.000+05:00

I should be doing my script for tomorrow, but the magic of blogging has once again taken over me!

Sc3L

2004-10-25T13:00:00.000+05:00

Blogger has made me swear out loud. Not a good thing if you're fasting eh? It just swallowed up a post I'd very enthusiastically written out, because of some Internal Server Error. Hmmph. Is Blogger going to start acting up like Orkut now? :p

On another note, please check out this gallery. Its been a long time since any form art, especially digital, spoke out to me with such a strong voice. I was completely mesmerised by every single one of those pieces. It is as if teh artist ccreated it keeping all my prefernces and strengths as an artist! Simple, yet powerful.

Its incredible how many people are starting to use Deviant Art. From the professionally trained artist wanted to publicise their work, to the regular person with a passion for art just wanting to show the world what they've got. Blogging has truly opened up new avenues of self-promotion!

Sitting in a tree...!

2004-10-23T23:42:00.000+05:00

Yes I know I've only known him for about a week, but he has the
smoothest voice ever, is such a gentleman, KNOWS about music, and just
generally makes an effort with you!

I'm sorry I judged that book by its cover, God. But my judgement made
a complete U-turn exactly 30 seconds after he opened his mouth.

Bubs.

2004-10-23T23:22:00.000+05:00

My cutie keeping me company while I lurk around on Orkut!

2004-10-19T22:59:00.000+05:00

And in the excitement of doing my first show, I forgot to introduce myself to the world.

:P

.

2004-10-17T22:57:00.000+05:00

What do call it, if a married man - well I assume that he is married since he showed me pictures of his daughter, yet did not mention a wife even once - messages you to wish you chand mubarik, then to remind you see his work, and then again to suggest that you come into the workplace and see him AT work?

And while having a talk with you, after mentioning his daughter, tries to ask you what your relationship status is, then stops himself, knowing that you've figured out what he was going to ask, and then approaches the subject again five minutes later, going through with the complete question?

Considering that you've known him a maximum of 5 days, and gave in your number to his friend, from whom he apparently took the number and bothered messaging?

I don't mind being flirted with as long as no one else is getting hurt in the process.

Ramazan.

2004-10-16T16:54:00.000+05:00

Ramazan Mubarik everyone!

Only about half an hour to go till Iftari..there's SUCH yummy food being made..I won't go into details or it'll make your mouth water...

Eid in 29 days!

Three lines.

2004-10-14T22:31:00.000+05:00

Aah...first words spoken into a mike, being broadcast live and into a thousand ears, or maybe more.

The rush, the excitement, the butterflies in the stomach, the jumbled words, the beating heart.

I met her too, and awkwardly told her about reading her blog. Maybe I shouldn't have, maybe she doesn't like being read by strangers. Although I am a stranger no more. I must say I really liked her though! Spunky, fresh and so friendly!

Karachiites really do rock!

CSNY

2004-10-09T15:51:00.000+05:00

If you can't be with the one you love, honey, love the one you're with.

~CSNY

Such simple advice, yet seemingly so hard to learn.

Blackbird.

2004-10-07T17:47:00.000+05:00

The topmost, and only entry in my Thing-to-do-before-I-die list (I only made it after being inspired last night), is to attend a Paul McCartney concert (I would have wished for the Beatles, but since there are only two left...), with someone who I love, and who loves me, and who is willing to sing out loud every song that is played at the concert. Of course I need to download their entire collection too beforehand, and learn it by heart.

Why has this sudden urge arisen?

I caught Paul McCartney's concert last night as I was surfing through the TV channels. I stopped to listen to the entire length of it. The expressions on the people's faces as they sung along to the songs, and remembered special moments when they'd heard it first, how they rested their heads on the other's shoulders and cried silently, the fact that they had bought their young children along and even the children were singing along, the expressions on their faces as the music and words lifted them up to a higher place and a happier time, the closed eyes, the moving lips, the swaying bodies. It was an experience so surreal that if I could identify with the music on TV, I can only imagine what the people who were actually there were feeling.

This song is one that I heard at an unplugged concert very recently, for the first time, I fell in love with instantly, mainly because I thought that the guy who was singing and playing it was so amazing, but you will realise that it is the song itself that is incredible. For those of you who haven't heard it, I suggest that you download it immediately, close your eyes and listen to it, and lose yourself in the power of the music and words.

Blackbird

Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to arise.

Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these sunken eyes and learn to see
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to be free.

Blackbird fly Blackbird fly
Into the light of the dark black night.

Blackbird fly Blackbird fly
Into the light of the dark black night.

Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to arise
You were only waiting for this moment to arise
You were only waiting for this moment to arise

~The Beatles.

Eeeyyoowww. :P

2004-09-30T01:54:00.000+05:00

Oh goodness.

I went into the kitchen to warm up food for my Dad. I was nonchalantly putting the plate up on the counter, happily lost in my thoughts about Huma and her frequent comments on my blog (yay!), when all of a sudden I this long tail and a foot with several claws poking out from behind the paper bag.

I screamed bloody murder! It really was a very real scream, mainly because I'm petrified of lizards, and also because I had been so lost in my thoughts, it actually jerked me back to the real world. So much so, that if I had heard myself screaming from afar, I would have been concerned whether I'd cut off my hand or what! Dad immediately asked, Kya hua?? And I replied, quivering, Chipkali!

I went to call him, and saw my cat, who had been happily snoring away on the bed when I came down, standing, rather, lurking/crouching in the doorway, eyes full open, and as big as they could get. He just stood there and stared at me, asking with his startled expression, what the hell had happened! And he was in that pose for a full 3 minutes until I went and picked him up, and soothed and calmed him down.

Heh. Poor thing. Must have been thinking, Woman! You just scared one life out of me!

Pee-shawer (According to J)

2004-09-30T01:05:00.000+05:00

IM aired a music video today by the name of King of self. The song in itself was pretty good listening, and in English, sung with a proper accent for once, and not in a put-on Paki-style accent, and the video actually carried a social message unlike most cheesy music videos being churned out by the dozen these days.

I went on to the website they specified in the video. Apparently the two guys are surprisingly from Peshawer. I say surprisingly, because having never been to that city myself, my assumptions about the town are based on newspaper tellings of Pathans, and burqas, and Pathani pride and what not. This is the very fact that they touch upon in their website - about how people consider time and social progression to be at a standstill in that part of Pakistan.

A friend of mine in college, J, was also from Peshawer, His brother was visiting once, and we all sat in the hostel grounds while he played guitar and sang. I have to admit I was blown away. Not only because he could play so well, but he knew songs that most people didn't know, and I loved..nearly all the songs from Counting Crows' August and Everything After. Also, he was from Peshawer! I remember asking J how he arrived in Lahore one time after vacations. He replied, I flew here. And I was like, Oh, I didn't know Peshawer had an airport! And he just looked at me with a bemused expression on his face and went, Jee Bibi, we don't still travel around on camels there you know!

I guess there are some assumptions you make about certain things when you're younger, and you never bother finding out more about them when you're older!

Purrrr....

2004-09-29T01:24:00.000+05:00

After sitting and going tweaak-tweak-tweeeaaak on my Blog, my eyes have HAD it.

I'm off to play follow the green string with my cat! He's feeling a bit lonely right now. Keeps going up to my sister who is on the phone, and meowing, and rolling on the floor and what-not. I think he missed Ami, who is in Dubai. She's the only one who ever succumbs to his meows for excessive food. Atleast that's what she assumes he means. Its only ME who realises htat he actually wants to play!

A piece of coal to a Diamond.

2004-09-28T22:38:00.000+05:00

So what of all the different personas, the faces, the characters you
keep inside and adopt and adapt according to each circumstance? Can
you ever really be just 'one' person? Just like there are two
opposites sides to each story, there is always a Mr. Hyde hidden
inside Dr. Jekyll.

Each facet of a cut diamond shines in a different way. It absorbs the
light, and bounces it back to the viewer at a hundred other
angles.Thus you will always see it differently each time you view it.

How wondrous to have the abililty to take one thing, and transform it
into a million other beautiful ones.

That is the essence of a true artist.

Becker.

2004-09-28T01:31:00.000+05:00

I love Becker. Its one of my favourite shows on TV. He has the most pessimistic, driest sense of humour that I've heard. It certainly is a wonder how he manages to keep a straight face through recordings.

They must have SOME stack of Bloopers!

Becker, after he realises that Linda is rich enough to not need the paltry money she gets from the job, asks her why?
Linda: Because its something I love doing. I mean, Dr. Becker, would you give up being a doctor simply because you didn't need the money?
Becker: In the middle of an operation!

I'm probably misquoting here. Forgive me.

Meow.

2004-09-28T01:09:00.000+05:00

Aaah...I just had the funnest time with the love of my life.

(For those of you who may not know who he is, maybe these
pictures will give you a hint.)

I'd poke the pencil from under the blanket, and he'd run to grab it.
I'd poke it from another direction, he'd jump and go all ulta-phulta
into the blanket in the process.

One of the most satisfying, happiness-enducing activities in the world
has to be playing with a pet. I can't imagine how I went through life
without him!

Last Kiss.

2004-09-26T19:35:00.000+05:00

The very first song I sang in college. I sat down on stage and sang, while the mirror ball above me revolved and threw out a million shining stars on every face looking up at me.

Oh, where oh where can my baby be?
The Lord took her away from me
She's gone to heaven, so I got to be good
So I can see my baby when I leave this world.

We were out on a date in my daddy's car
We hadn't driven very far
There in the road, up straight ahead
A car was stalled, the engine was dead.

I couldn't stop, so I swerved to the right
I'll never forget the sound that night
The screamin' tires, the bustin' glass
The painful scream that I heard last.

Oh, where oh where can my baby be?
The Lord took her away from me
She's gone to heaven, so I got to be good
So I can see my baby when I leave this world.

When I woke up, the rain was pourin' down
There were people standing all around
Something warm rollin' through my eyes
But somehow I found my baby that night.

I lifted her head, she looked at me and said
"Hold me darling just a little while."
I held her close, I kissed her our last kiss
I found the love that I knew I would miss.

But now she's gone, even though I hold her tight
I lost my love, my life that night.

Oh, where oh where can my baby be?
The Lord took her away from me
She's gone to heaven, so I got to be good
So I can see my baby when I leave this world.
Oooh~ ooooh~

Cnfssn.

2004-09-26T19:24:00.000+05:00

So I admitted it to someone yesterday.

Now all I need to do is believe in it myself.

O.

2004-09-26T18:23:00.000+05:00

Ayesha O appears once more on TV, in a Rage music video (which by the way I am completely disgusted by...why the transistion from making meaningful music with realistic videos, to cheesy synthesised, music with a 'cool', image-centered video?), after seeing her in the Sunday magazine today.

We all went on about what a complete ass-kisser she was, sucking up to people that probably couldn't even help her in the long run, trying to butt into every thing that took place inside and outside of college, but look where it got her today. While most of us sitting at home, wasting our lives away, she is modelling, interviewing people on TV, is seen at the most happening events in town, and is probably earning enough to make us all envious.

I guess its those people who truly believe they can make it, and make no bones about that confidence, are the ones that actually get somewhere in life.

Bored.

2004-09-24T22:18:00.000+05:00

Goodness..I'm all alone at home.

All my sisters have gone off to spend the night, my mother is in Dubai, my father is in the office, and my granparents are downstairs.

Which makes me think...why on earth didn't I go to Dubai with Am? (Because I just came back from Bangkok, and felt guilty making my parents spend more money on me)...Why didn't I go to the nightspend where I was invited to? ( Because I spent the last two nights out as well)...Why am I not going to the party tonight? (Because I can't cook up a good enough story to hide it)...

And WHY am I the sole person who purposefully pulls the reins on her social life?

UnSad.

2004-09-24T16:39:00.000+05:00

I read a lot of people's blogs daily, and it seems to me that the world is just full unhappy people. Of course, I'm not judging anyone for it, I'm sure they have valid enough reasons to not be happy, but wouldn't the world be a better place if we were all a little bit cheery?

Don't get me wrong, I've had my share of manic depression - my teenage years were spent steeped in it, and were the worst years of my life. I had massive inferiority complexes, always feeling that I was never good enough for anyone, and was too shy to prove otherwise. I was depressive to the point of being suicidal, but I never really had the courage to go through with it. Now I thank God, for had it not been for my cowardliness, I would never have been able to go through so many beautiful experiences, or met so many wonderful people along the way.

I've battled it, ignored it, tried to overcome it, yet a part of it still remains inside me that likes to resurface from time to time. You know how they say that making yourself smile, even if you don't feel like it, will actually make you happier? Well to some extent, it does. But you've really got to feel it from the inside. It all starts with appreciating what you have in your life, not matter how little it might be, knowing that there are people in this world who may not even have 10% of it. And I'm not just talking about material things here - a loving family, a worthy education, a good heart - they're all things that you should be thankful for.

You start noticing the little things. A pet curled up at your feet, a warm blanket on a cold night, a colourful rainbow that appears after the rain has fallen. In a sense, you go back to being a child again, when you found wonder and excitement in every new experience. When you looked at everything with and open mind and willingness to accept. That's where the core of true happiness lies I believe.

College too, has helped me on this path to self-satisfaction. It acknowledged my difference from the world, and even more so, it taught me to embrace, and appreciate it. It showed met that there are a lot more unique, and more interesting, people outside of the staple Lahori that I had been interacting with for most of my life. That it is better to be an individual, than an off-the-assembly-line moulded model.

I don't deny the fact that I too, am occasionally revisited by crazy-feeling insanity some days. But there are also days when I feel so ecstatic, that I fear my heart with literally explode with happiness! And there is usually no obvious reason for it. I guess it seems to have found a comfortable place in my heart, and I am more than happy with that!

Everyone tells me that I still act like a kid. But I think I'd rather be a happy-go-lucky child than a dreary, multi-complexed adult.

Where does your happiness lie?

Yellow.

2004-09-13T01:33:00.000+05:00

I just got THE most beautiful compliment EVER, from a female friend of mine from college:

" **** is the colour yellow. She can make anything happy."

Now I'M happy! :)

Quiet.

2004-09-13T01:10:00.000+05:00

My mouth whispers one thing, while my heart shouts another. When will the voices within my heart learn to fight their way through the hurdles of Cowardliness and Unsureity of self, to emerge into the audible world of Conversation?

The anger keeps building up inside, and there are times when I feel like I will burst out one day with unspoken thoughts and opinions accumulated over an entire lifetime.

Beautiful Girl.

2004-09-12T16:16:00.000+05:00

This is one of my all time favourite songs ever. Makes you want to close your eyes, and lose yourself in his voice. From the opening picking of the guitar strings, till the ending Beautiful Gi-hirl.

Beautiful Girl - INXS

Nicky's in the corner
With a black coat on
Running from a bad home
With some cat inside

Now where did you find her
Among the neon lights
That haunt the streets outside
Stay with me

Beautiful girl (stay with me)
Beautiful girl (stay with me)
She wants to go home

From doorway to doorway
Street corner to corner
With the neon ghosts in the city
And she says

Stay with me
Stay with me
Stay with me
Stay with me

She's so scared
So very frightened
Anything could happen
Right here tonight

Beautiful girl (stay with me)
Beautiful girl (stay with me)
She wants to go home

Stay with me (beautiful girl)
Stay with me (beautiful girl)
Stay with me (beautiful girl)
Stay with me (beautiful girl)

Ufone MobilEmail

2004-09-07T18:42:00.000+05:00

Dry branches stand stark against a dusky sky. Like wisps of smoke frozen in mid air as they reach out from their fiery source.

2004-09-06T17:32:00.000+05:00

I gave him his once a month bath..he is now all soft, and white, and his fur is literally glistening!

2004-09-06T03:46:00.000+05:00

Testing...email to blog...

Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose...

2004-09-06T00:51:00.000+05:00

Brilliant.

Just when I thought I couldn't get any more spaced out.

I was turning the knob the other-bloody-way.

Laugh all you want, but realising the fact that you're going to stay cooped up in a room forever (Or atleast until the next day) can make your brain stop working and start going hysterical.

Now I know what it feels like to be a prisoner.

I'm out of here.

2004-09-06T00:42:00.000+05:00

Fuck.

I'm locked in, in the office.

My fingers are red from trying to twist the bloody tiny knob at the base of the glass door, and no amount of pushing, pulling, banging on the door is getting me anywhere. I tried to be extra smart with locking the room door, instead of the main door, and look where it got me.

I might have to spend the night confined to this one tiny room. Please pray I get out of here soon. Before my bladder bursts atleast.

Random pictures.

2004-09-05T23:20:00.000+05:00

My beautiful red Birks that I got from Thailand.

The gorgeous bag Ami got me. This picture doesn't do it justice.

Pink flip-flops!

And this isn't even the complete set of 14 pairs of shoes that I got from Thailand.

Ironic.

2004-09-05T10:14:00.000+05:00

I was wanting to go to dictionary.com, and I ended up writing dictinary.com.

:P

"Its like rain on your wedding day.."

New phone!

2004-08-31T19:11:00.000+05:00

Yayy! I just got me a new phone!

After endless requests (read: threats) from everyone, to please get a new phone since the old one had completely had it. Anytime anyone would call me, the first thing I'd say to them would be 'Jaldi baat karo, battery khatam honay wali hai! (Talk fast, the battery's about to go!)'. Abu even got a new battery for the phone, but it had just been abused by too many people to even try to work with the new one.

So after looking around, and asking about the cheapest options available (I'm a miser, I admit it), I finally got one. I'm rather beginning to like it though. It has a flashlight, a screen saver that displays an actual clock and the date and day of the week (No more being lost about what day it is today!), and reminders that you can set for just one time or every week. And it has a ringtone composer too just like my old phone! Whee!

Of course I am now a little poorer than before. And I HAD wanted a camera phone, but I would've gone past my bank's minimum limit, had I bought one. Oh well, if this job thingy works out, and I start earning, tho I'll get deifnitely get one!

Happy!

From now on, its smooth sailing all the way...

2004-08-30T05:37:00.000+05:00

I live in a city where, in order to get anything, anything at all, done, you need to have connections. Whether it involves getting someone out of jail, or landing a job at a prestigious firm, all you need is to know someone who is relatively high up the employee structure, and you are guaranteed that the job will be done. You don't even have to know that person - he can be your chacha's brother-in-law's son's friend's father - all you need is to find a connection from some point, and it works. Either that, or a handful of money passed along discreetly, will do the trick.

So it came as quite a surprise when I went downstairs today, and my Grandparents asked me if I had come to see how our road was being made.

Pardon?

I have lived in this house, in this street, in this neighbourhood, my entire life. And I can recount only one instance when our street was bombarded with huge steam rollers, and men standing around, shouting instructions to every worker on the street. This took place when I was maybe, ten years old, and still running around in my shorts, playing hopscotch in our concrete driveway.

Since then, the road has steadily been getting worse by the day. Every time it rains, the entire street gets flooded with dirty water, and you drive your car at the speed of 5 km/h to get through it, hoping the engine doesn't stall. And the potholes. Every 3 yards, there is a pothole, on both sides of the road, so that no matter how much you twist and turn your car, you will plop into one with a thud. Each day we try to find newer ways come home where we can experience the smoothest car ride.

So we had been bombarding everyone we could think of, LDA, Lahore Municipality, the district Nazim, with requests for the renovation of our road, but to no avail. Apparently, we were informed, our road did not fall under anyone's appointed area, and that was why every other road around us had been fixed, instead of ours. Letters, phone calls, even sifarish (Using contacts to get anywhere) , fell on deaf ears.

Thus, much to our amazement, when we discovered that there were workers on the road, and that they were actually there to fix our road, we all rushed outside to inquire as to how it was finally happening. What had finally worked? The endless letters, calls, petitions, or more believably, the sifarish?

Apparently the Chief Minister is visiting the Deaf and Dumb School which, luckily enough, is situated on our road. Of course he cannot see the miserable road that mirrors the Nazim's indifference, therefore any evidence of it must be smoothed over before his arrival on the 1st. We are thinking of inviting him over for tea to thank him for finally doing what we had been unsuccessful at for so long. (!)

One more option to add to the list of ways of getting things done in Pakistan.

2004-08-23T15:43:00.000+05:00

I'm thinking this new haircut is going down VERY well with the boys! I have constantly been getting hit on for the past week..inf act, even before that.

I'm loving all this attention!

2004-08-23T09:06:00.000+05:00

Have we really come so far in our progressive thought and civilised behaviour, that there is nowhere else to go but back? From the uncivilised caveman, to the barbaric Dark Ages, to culturally promiscuous, refined age of the 18th century, we seem to returning back into the war-ravaging inhumans of the Dark Ages. Will we eventually go back to our caves and return to our former primate selves? There is so much undeserved killing (indeed, all killing is undeserved) in the world today, that is appears as though we really are de-evoluting back to our caveman roots, with only a will and struggle merely to survive, no matter by what means.

Everyone is bent on creating their own personal Utopia for their country, in terms of security and prosperity, with no thought to the people of the undeveloped countries that they must trample on in their ascent to super-powerdom. Where are those gentle reformist leaders of the yester-years such as Gandhi and Martin Luther King Jr.? Where is that passion for equal rights and fair play that was present in every person of the 1960's? It is as if our heads have taken over our hearts as dictators of ourselves, to make decisions and choices that will be benficial for us, and only us. Those decisions are dictated by a unanimous, subliminal voice that seems to emanate from the powers that rule us - one, the Government, and the other, the seemingly innocuous voice of the Elitist Society.

If you are different, you will not survive.